“[THIS IS NOT] AN ARCHIVE OF ME” came about initially as a result of curiosity around the notion of contemporary archaeological artefacts. Contemporary archaeology has been a consistent influence on my work for the last few years; predominantly in the form of a documentary style, focusing on themes around suburban non-places.
Deliberately diverging from this style, I settled on still life as the basis of my methodology. It seemed to me that the most obvious angle of attack was through the archive, so I decided to create an “archive of me”. Through that I could try to understand what artefacts might be from my own life by photographing objects that were either directly from, or at least represented, particularly formative moments from my past.
Using some of the tropes of archaeological artefact photography – flat lighting, featureless backgrounds and labels – I hoped to present these objects in a way that echoes objectivity. I paired each of these images with some prose directly related to the “moment” in my life that the image represented. Through the juxtaposition of text and image I tried to create a gravitational pull between the artefacts and the memories, such that by the end it might be concluded that the memory *is* the artefact.
However, memory is clearly subjective; in and of itself it cannot be used as definitive proof. It is notoriously unreliable, which is one reason why I added [THIS IS NOT] to the beginning of the title. The archive is unreliable (van Alphen 2014) and therefore must be questioned; one brought to life by my own memories must be considered doubly unreliable.
Sitting on the edge of my bed, groggy with fuzzy thoughts and stress dreams, reality began to re-coalesce around me. As I looked out of the window it struck me.
We were in lockdown.
Face Mask
(from the series [This Is Not] An Archive Of Me), 2024
Giclée on Hahnemühle Photo Rag, mounted on aluminium 51 x 66cm
“To my best pal.”
My mother’s message to my father on the Stargazer lilies atop his coffin. It seems a little strange to say it, seeing as I was in my early 30s, but it felt like that was the moment my childhood truly ended.
Stargazer Lily
(from the series [This Is Not] An Archive Of Me), 2024
Giclée on Hahnemühle Photo Rag, mounted on aluminium 51 x 66cm
